Hello. I am Mary. Welcome to my Blog. (not journal) If you don't like what I have to say, then leave. I'm sorry if I offend you, I write a lot of this shit when I'm mad... So I prolly dont REALLY mean it. I say what I mean. I say what I don't mean. I'm not always nice. I'm human.

I always wear my bracelett from Las Vegas.
I'm obsessed with my dog. <333
I care about you more than you think.
Everyone hates my ringtone because it's always going off.
But I love it.

I love my backpack more than anything <3
I stay up all night and wake sometime during the afternoon.
I get bored easy....VERY EASY
I go through guys like seasons because generally speaking- they can't entertain me long enough.
I do not wanna be tied down just yet.
I know a lot of random facts...and how to do a lot of random things.
I crip walk.
I am very good at teaching people how to do "stuff" ;)
I'm shy.
I HATE eskimo boots with a fiery passion.
It's impossible for a guy to threaten me with mentioning another girl.
Sorry, I just don't care.

I think, a lot.
I paint, I draw.

I have no secrets.
Okay, maybe a few. ;)

I have a knack for getting Pink Eye.
I snowboard.
I dance.
I'm very open minded.
I love sex.

I'm very blunt & Brutally honest. Some people can't handle that...
But if you appreciate the truth. You'll appreciate me. :)

I hate when people can't spell...like, at all.

I will do just about anything if it makes someone I care about laugh.

I don't like boys.
Don't tell me you know more about Tupac or Biggie than me.
Because you don't and I'll just make you look stupid in front of everyone.
I'm finally leaving Buffalo.


I really DON'T CARE what you think if you don't know me well... or if I don't like you.

Chances are you think you know...But you don't.

I'm fiesty.
I'm badass.
Don't fuck with me or people I care about.
I will make you pay for it if you do.
I smile...a lot.
I throw up gang signs.
I'm a G. ;)
I shop like it's my job.
I'll prolly lie to you if you ask me how many people I've slept with.



Yes, I drink.
Yes, I smoke.
Fuck you, Judge me.

I have a lot of health problems.
But I don't care.
I overthink everything...
EVERYTHING.
I believe in second chances.
I'm too hard to define because I'm changing with every day.
My shampoo is SEX
I'm too sensitive...
but I'm working on that.


I don't find manwhores attractive...at all.

I work hard in school.
I party hard.
I won't tell you I care about you unless I mean it.
You'll know if you're a special person to me.
If I hooked up with a guy you like, and you try to give me shit about it.
You might wanna think twice. I'll do it again, just to spite you. ;)
I bartend.
I can manipulate myself into caring about someone.
I can manipulate my memory into almost forgetting everything about someone and detaching any kind of feeling associated with them.

I love the beach.
I love seeing you smile.
I kinda love snuggling.
I bite ;) sorry.
I people watch..LIKe CrAzY.
I'm far from a whore.
I HATE cheese.
If you call me out on something, I might deny it.
I don't like fighting.
I'm curious.
I don't believe in regrets.
I want to change the world as much as possible.
I love snow.
I don't care if you don't.

832- we's rockstars.


If you think I want to fuck you,

Chances are... I don't.


I have amazing/diverse taste in music.
And someone you know prolly has a cd I put together.
I don't care if you play football, or if you drive a nice car or if you have a huge dick.
I've seen it all.

Try to impress me.

I fall hard ;)
Although, I hardly ever fall.
I miss Rob.
I miss "her" too.
My car smells orgasmic.
and it's got the coolest hangy things on the antenna.
I go to UB.
But not for long. :))
I have blue eyes
I have cancer, it sucks. And it's made me grow up really fast.
I don't like telling people the same thing twice. Learn to listen

I show respect for others until they give me a reason not to.
I love to drink juice.








"Yeah, A-town's finest
I'm the top notch glammour chick
Tell me, If I throw it at you baby... can you handle it??"




I'm getting sick of talkin about myself.
Just ask ;)
I'm pretttyyy much an open book, so anything goes. :D

Adding insult to injury…
Rather…Stupid to existing stupidity…

Things with Jon have (un)surprisingly escalated.
I shouldn’t say unsurprisingly though.

Because I was rather surprised. In fact, VERY surprised at the way he handled the situation. I thought he was more mature than that. But whatever.

Even though he totally didn’t give a fuck that I had a hard time that night…
I was still trying to work things out with him.

Not even joking here…he called me at 3am and left me a voicemail making judgments about my character and shit, bitching that Sabina is one of his best girl friends and if I fucked things up for when she visits he doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

Um…Screw Sabina.

If she didn’t want me making a sarcastic comment towards her then maybe she shouldn’t be judging me in the first place.

I don’t get involved in ANY of her shit…how dare she step foot into mine.

I mean the fact that Jon can’t realize that the bitch is only mad because she got CAUGHT baffles me. Like, are you REALLY that stupid?

Jon is was only mad at me because Sabina caught him...and found out that he told on her.

Which is something I still don't get. Lets say hypothetically (for whatever reason) I thought Sabina was a whore. I certainly wouldn't tell anyone, and I certainly wouldn't tell someone she was friends with.

Likewise...if one of my friends called another one of my friends a whore...I wouldn't go and be like "hey guess who thinks youre a whore" to my other friend...because that's just asking for conflict. And that's exactlly what Jon did. If Sabina said I was a whore. Fine. Jon should have kept it to himself. Telling me did no good.

But this would solve the real problem…how about you don’t make judgments about someone you’ve never carried on a conversation with in your entire life…then this would have never happened.

So yes Jon, I’m sorry for making (what I still find ridiculously funny) comment towards your beloved Sabina. Let’s forget the fact that she basically called me a whore. Who gives two shits about me…It’s all about Sabina.

I totally don’t mind that you stick up for her…when she doesn’t have any ground to stand on…
Yet you are silent when I do.

Love that.

He called me up and was like… "mary I kind of agree with Sabina…my dick sucking skills…yeah mary, reallllll classy” This is the BEST part. Then he goes on to say “but I wouldn’t want you to change.”

Um okay Jon…Talk down on me then tell me not to change?
Well I’ve got news for you…I wrote that comment because it was funny…and because UNLIKE you I don’t give a fuck if it comes off as classy or not, because I know when it comes down to SERIOUS morals and principles, I’m classier than any chick you probably know. However, most of the time I’m NOT serious. I love life and I love having a good time. There is no need to be serious 247.

You and Sabina can both chill the fuck out.

And just for the record...I have no beef with Sabina. She's fine by me. I don't like or dislike the chick. Seeing as I've never really met her..I don't have a feeling one way or the other and I can look past whatever she may have said because I know it's not true.

Then Jon called and said sorry, and because I care ((more than I fucking should)) I called him back and talked to him about it…we were working things out (or I thought). I was shopping with my friends and here I am being anti-social talking on my phone the whole time.

Fixing something I wasn’t even responsible for breaking.

That night I went out with a bunch of people and we were playing pool. Jon called and said that Laney read this thing I wrote about him. For that I truly felt bad. Because it WAS rude…and all my anger wasn’t meant for him. But then Jon and I kept talking and once again…I was being anti-social with everyone because I was talking to him. I missed out an entire game because I was talking to him. But it didn’t bother me…because I cared enough about Jon to sacrifice my time with my friends. To me…he was more important.

That night I got home and I was talking to him on the phone and everything was fine sort of. I mean obviously we still had some issues…but I was definitely all for working on it. I got the impression that Jon takes the things I say when I’m mad seriously. Like how I said him calling wouldn’t help. When it obviously did. But whatever.

Then I asked him if he still had my vodka…



Just to give you some background on that…



When I was really upset that night I grabbed all of my stuff really quick because I was dying to go home. On accident I forgot a FULL bottle of vodka there.

So when I got to my car (in the Canisius parking lot)

1) I called jon and told him not to let ANYONE drink it.
2) Then I txt-ed him and told him (once again) not to let anyone drink it, and that I also forgot my cd. there
3) Then also…I left him a message on facebook…not to let anyone drink my shit.

Not that I’m normally that overbearing when it comes to booze,....
but I saw him give away Laney’s stuff without a care, and I didn’t want that to happen with my shit.

He said “yeah fine, I won’t”
That was his word.
He told me he wouldn’t let anyone drink it.







Back to me asking him if he let anyone drink it…

He was like “ummm yeah, they did last night because Marissa said you left her a comment or something saying it was fine…or something”

Basically, he tried to pin it on Marissa and was very non-committal about his whole defense.

Thing is…with me, you don’t need a defense.

All he had to say was “Mary, I fucked up, I’m sorry.”
To me the best words (and most underrated) are, “I’m sorry, and thank you”

If he said sorry, we would still be best friends right now.

He didn’t say sorry though.
So fine Jon, If you want to stand on your little soap box and continue to preach things like you didn’t fuck up…fine. I don’t want you.

Basically what happened was…
Marissa called Jon up the next night and said

“Mary said that I could share her vodka so bring that shit down to my room cuz we are about to get crunk as shit.”

Now listen you stupid cunt,…. when I said that we could share it…that’s only because we couldn’t find a liquor store THAT NIGHT.

The night that they all drank my shit..there were plenty of stores open. So either you were all too lazy to go or too cheap to spend your own money.

And when ANYONE says share in the drinking sense it means: WHEN WE ARE ALL TOGETHER DRINIKING, I WON’T MIND GIVING YOU A FEW SHOTS.

* and I'm on the real with that. When we all went to Trevor's I didn't care that Biszy, Daily, Trev, Erica and all those other people drank the shit I bought. Because I was there. So don't even call me fucking cheap Jon.

Don’t think that you are soooo down with me that you can down my whole bottle.

And lets just say hypothetically…like that I DID say we could share.

SINCE WHEN IS SHARING…DRINKING THE ENTIRE THING?

Dumbass.

I told Jon straight up that they would be paying me for it. And he’s like “well I’ll pay for it because making Marissa pay wouldn’t be right.”

Oh, hahaha that’s nice…Since when do you give two fucks about what’s right or not…Since when do you give a fuck about morals.
Whatever.


One of the things that pisses me off the most…

Is that they had NO intention of paying for it before they drank it…only after I made a big stink about it.
So yeah, pretty sure if anyone is cheap, it's them.

Then Jon tries to play it off like I’m some cheap fuck that only cares about money. Its sooo not about the fucking money. Nothing is ever about the money with me. Not to be cocky as fuck…but I have enough money to buy thousands of Vodka bottles. It all goes back to his lack of respect. I told him THREE friggin times NOT to let people drink my shit, and he goes and does it anyway…who does that? While actions do speak louder than words…and I’m a firm believer in that....If you say you won’t let people drink my stuff (which he did say) then you go back on your word….it makes me wonder, what is your word worth? Can I trust anything you say?
When someone drank all my Sunny D I didn't care. I never asked him to watch it...not his responsibility as far as I'm concerned. But if you say you're gunna do something...(like you did here) I expect you to. Because it's just right.



Clearly, this isn’t about the Vodka. I know he’d love for everyone there to think it is. And honestly, I’m quite content with everyone at Canisius only hearing HIS side of the story and believing the lies. Maybe then they will all like him…because that’s all he cares about.




It was never about vodka. It was about the increasing difficulty I began to have of forming any kind of trust with him. He would rather disrespect me and give people whom he “supposedly doesn’t care about” my alcohol. What the fuck? I can’t even tell you how much I loved knowing that the fuckers who made me upset that night (like eaton and shit) were drinking my stuff. Way to go Jon. Way to be loyal.

Might I remind you that the whole reason I left in a hurry that night was because I was upset (for many reasons) but mainly Eaton. You remember that don't you Jon??...how you offered them MY car. Like I said before...you want to vouche for people and offer then rides...offer your car. If I wanted them to drive mine..I would have offered on MY OWN.
Then you put me in a funny situation. Don't act like I didn't have to go with them either. I'm not gunna be that disrespectful to my parents. Hey mom and dad...I know you work hard and pay for my car and everything, but I'm gunna let these two strangers drive my car and not go with them...Because Jon says it will be fine.

Yeah fucking right.

Oh, but I guess you forgot about that huh baby?
It was your fault I was stuck in that car in the first place. So essentially, if you didn't stick me in that car, I wouldn't have left early...And never would have forgot my bottle.

The thing is…with me…no matter who Jon and I made as friends…He was always my boy. He was before Marissa before anyone…he was top shit. If Jon ever told me to take care of something for him, and Laney told me “oh Jon said I could have it” I would definitely check with Jon first. That’s the way it works. I stick to Jon’s word until I hear otherwise.

Jon didn’t check with me…he believed Marissa.
I wonder…did he really think that I would be cool with letting her have the entire bottle that I paid for because as he said “well I thought you were cool with Marissa, I thought you guys were friends.”

We were cool.
I did like her.

But there are a lot more people I’m more into and down with…and you don’t see me giving them all my alcohol for no reason.

Why they didn't go out and buy their own is STILL beyond me.
Oh wait, no it't not..because the way things look..they are the ones who are cheap, not me.

You don't see me drinking anyone's shit without ANY intention of paying them back now do you?

It had nothing to do with how much I liked her.


Especially when I’m not there…If I was there and we were all partying…it would obviously be two different worlds. I wouldn’t care. But if I’m not there…then why the hell would I be okay with it?

Too bad you don’t care enough about the right people and now you risk loosing them. I hope it was worth it.

Do me a favor though, stop bitching about how everyone at Canisius is fake.

I laugh at the fact that……… you ARE one of them.

If they all only knew how much shit you talk about them.
If Bizzy knew, if Eaton knew, if Marissa knew, Especially Laney and Erica.

But they don’t. Because you have no fucking balls and you smile in their face while you stab them in the back with words.

Whatever. That’s your deal.

I tell people what I think.

Because if it was me, I’d rather have them say shit to my face and be honest than say it behind my back.

I afford them the same courtesy.

Like I said, that’s your deal. Be fake. Just do me a favor and quit your constant bitching about how you can’t find any REAL people…anyone that isn’t fake.

Because I was…I was real, I cared more about you then you cared about me. If I was in your situation, I would have handled it far different. Most importantly, I was always only one call away for you, and I STILL am.

Despite all the fighting, when I didn’t hear from you all day…I was actually worried that something bad had happened to you.

Fuck me in the ass for being so god damn caring.
If I had any common sense I wouldn’t give a fuck.

So go ahead…think it’s about the money.
Because if you pretend that I’m some cheap shallow fuck it’s easier on your conscience.


Its easier to pretend you weren't in the wrong.
But deep down, you know I'm not cheap
If it was about money, I wouldn’t buy you groceries, dinner and whatever and not care.
You didn’t seem to complain then…You didn’t seem to complain that I didn’t care about money then.

Oh wait…It’s only now that YOU fucked up that you want to say that I care about that crap. Hmm…okay. Whatever works for you.

Then when you called and we were trying to work stuff out…You get off the phone with me because of Marissa.

I said Jon, “I have to go now, I’m at work, I’ll call you back later.”

But you kept talking because YOU didn’t have anywhere to be.
And like a dumb fuck I stayed on the line because you were more important to me than work.

Oh, but then I hear Marissa in the background saying “Jon get off the phone with Mary.”
And then you say, “I’ve gotta go”

Those are some nice balls you got there. Good thing you’re not a pussy.

Then I call you when I get out of work…
Someone hangs up the phone
I call again.
Marissa answers.
She acts like a bitch, in true fashion. Saying “no” to ANYTHING I ask.

In reality, If I was some girl who drank another chick’s alcohol…I would be a lot more apologetic and a little less bitchy than she was. Seriously. I was already a little ticked with her…and that just set me off.

Bitch is lucky it was over the phone.

And I mean that.


I call again…she hangs up AGAIN.

Then you call me back and you whine about how you have to watch nip tuck at 10, and how you have 3 tests tomorrow.

Um…okay, glad you care.

Fuck me for caring more than you did.

YOU DROPPED THE BALL.
NOT ME

So someone please tell me why the fuck I’m the one picking it up all the time?

Just the fact that nip tuck means more to you than our friendship, like that really hurt my feelings.


You didn’t even care that Marissa was a total cunt to me.




But good..
Because I think you two deserve each other.

There is SO much I could say about her…But I’ll bite my tongue.

It wasn't just the alcohol (even though it was only about what it represented) it was everything that night and the way he handled it afterwards.

Either way, I’m glad to know how much I mean to you…which is nothing at all.

To think I cried all night over someone who just doesn’t give a fuck, and yet, I STILL do.




Talked to Jack last night. I never thought I'd be stupid enough to do that. I think with the whole Jon thing I was really upset and threw caution to the wind.




I guess it makes sense that something that started in a graveyard should end there.

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