Hello. I am Mary. Welcome to my Blog. (not journal) If you don't like what I have to say, then leave. I'm sorry if I offend you, I write a lot of this shit when I'm mad... So I prolly dont REALLY mean it. I say what I mean. I say what I don't mean. I'm not always nice. I'm human.

I always wear my bracelett from Las Vegas.
I'm obsessed with my dog. <333
I care about you more than you think.
Everyone hates my ringtone because it's always going off.
But I love it.

I love my backpack more than anything <3
I stay up all night and wake sometime during the afternoon.
I get bored easy....VERY EASY
I go through guys like seasons because generally speaking- they can't entertain me long enough.
I do not wanna be tied down just yet.
I know a lot of random facts...and how to do a lot of random things.
I crip walk.
I am very good at teaching people how to do "stuff" ;)
I'm shy.
I HATE eskimo boots with a fiery passion.
It's impossible for a guy to threaten me with mentioning another girl.
Sorry, I just don't care.

I think, a lot.
I paint, I draw.

I have no secrets.
Okay, maybe a few. ;)

I have a knack for getting Pink Eye.
I snowboard.
I dance.
I'm very open minded.
I love sex.

I'm very blunt & Brutally honest. Some people can't handle that...
But if you appreciate the truth. You'll appreciate me. :)

I hate when people can't spell...like, at all.

I will do just about anything if it makes someone I care about laugh.

I don't like boys.
Don't tell me you know more about Tupac or Biggie than me.
Because you don't and I'll just make you look stupid in front of everyone.
I'm finally leaving Buffalo.


I really DON'T CARE what you think if you don't know me well... or if I don't like you.

Chances are you think you know...But you don't.

I'm fiesty.
I'm badass.
Don't fuck with me or people I care about.
I will make you pay for it if you do.
I smile...a lot.
I throw up gang signs.
I'm a G. ;)
I shop like it's my job.
I'll prolly lie to you if you ask me how many people I've slept with.



Yes, I drink.
Yes, I smoke.
Fuck you, Judge me.

I have a lot of health problems.
But I don't care.
I overthink everything...
EVERYTHING.
I believe in second chances.
I'm too hard to define because I'm changing with every day.
My shampoo is SEX
I'm too sensitive...
but I'm working on that.


I don't find manwhores attractive...at all.

I work hard in school.
I party hard.
I won't tell you I care about you unless I mean it.
You'll know if you're a special person to me.
If I hooked up with a guy you like, and you try to give me shit about it.
You might wanna think twice. I'll do it again, just to spite you. ;)
I bartend.
I can manipulate myself into caring about someone.
I can manipulate my memory into almost forgetting everything about someone and detaching any kind of feeling associated with them.

I love the beach.
I love seeing you smile.
I kinda love snuggling.
I bite ;) sorry.
I people watch..LIKe CrAzY.
I'm far from a whore.
I HATE cheese.
If you call me out on something, I might deny it.
I don't like fighting.
I'm curious.
I don't believe in regrets.
I want to change the world as much as possible.
I love snow.
I don't care if you don't.

832- we's rockstars.


If you think I want to fuck you,

Chances are... I don't.


I have amazing/diverse taste in music.
And someone you know prolly has a cd I put together.
I don't care if you play football, or if you drive a nice car or if you have a huge dick.
I've seen it all.

Try to impress me.

I fall hard ;)
Although, I hardly ever fall.
I miss Rob.
I miss "her" too.
My car smells orgasmic.
and it's got the coolest hangy things on the antenna.
I go to UB.
But not for long. :))
I have blue eyes
I have cancer, it sucks. And it's made me grow up really fast.
I don't like telling people the same thing twice. Learn to listen

I show respect for others until they give me a reason not to.
I love to drink juice.








"Yeah, A-town's finest
I'm the top notch glammour chick
Tell me, If I throw it at you baby... can you handle it??"




I'm getting sick of talkin about myself.
Just ask ;)
I'm pretttyyy much an open book, so anything goes. :D

I wanna ride a train up my lovers arm . . .

Destination?... The Brain.

Climb out and find out what's going on
cut through trees and ride through rocks
and synchronize the universal sundial to my watchhh






I have a really bad feeling about everything.

Like- I don't even wanna go to Long Island now.

I was packing my suitcase today, and I just thought to myself...what's the point??

Why go so that I can spend a weekend with him, only to be reminded of everything that I can't have. It just doesnt make much sense.

Not only that...this whole thing isn't working with me. Like when we are together, it's insane, and I really connect with him.

But the way it is now, it's like a 7min convo (if I'm lucky) Once a day. Just filling in all the boring details. Where you been, what youre doing.
Blah Blah... Boring.

How am I supposed to gauge someone's emotional development with just that?
I wanna know where you are at...not physically

Mentally.

And I don't. And YOU don't know where I'M at either. You don't know that I don't even talk to my best friend anymore. You don't know that I never sleep at night and that I've been sick for the past week. You don't know pretty much anything about my life. You don't know that I have people giving me SHIT 24 fucking 7 about you. And it's getting harder to defend you. It's like...I wanna fight for you, but I don't know if you are giving me reason to anymore. God...That sounds awful. It sounds like I don't love you. But I do. I love you so fucking much. You know that. Honestly, it would be easier if I DIDNT CARE.

If I treated you like all the other thousands of guys I kept around to keep me "temporarily entertained"

So that makes me wonder...
Why the hell are YOU still with ME?

Today when I was packing, I got this terrible feeling in my gut. I don't know if it was last night's party- and Brent coming at me hard. I don't know what it was.

But I don't need you here physically- even though fuckin you is the best.

I need someone who can be here for me emotionally...like, when I'm upset or having a bad day. When you lived in Amherst I could just drive over to your Apt. But now...You arent there at all.

AT ALL.

And for whatever reason...when I'm having a really hard time and I need to talk to someone. I always WANT to call you. But I don't. It isnt a pride thing either. It's like...I know you won't answer, or you will be rollin a blunt or chillin with someone.

Whatever the reason, it comes down to the fact that you have no time for me.

and def. no time to deal with (what you see as) my childish worries.




I just feel (incredibly)emotionally neglected.


Even today, when I told you I had a bad feeling about coming,
You just brushed it off.
Like babe, I'm scared and worried.
Can't you be more sensitive about that?

Just cheat on me or whatever.

We both know I love you too much to ever do that.
Just give me a good reason to walk away.

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